At Last, I Can Rest in Peace at Night

You'll all be happy to know that our civil liberties are safe once again. That's right, the Bush administration's Office of the Director of National Intelligence has appointed its first civil-liberties protection officer!

According to National Intelligence Director John Negroponte, the new officer will play a vital part in soothing concerns about problematic intelligence measures -- unauthorized wiretaps, for example. "We are fully committed to protecting Americans' privacy and civil liberties while defending our national security," Negroponte said.

However, despite the glorious efforts of the administration, some naysayers remain. Caroline Fredrickson of the Washington ACLU office doubts that Alex Joel, the new appointee, will have enough political bite to back up his bark:

"We've been supportive of this concept, but the administration has got to give these people more leeway to play the role that's been pitched," Fredrickson said. "I don't think they can do that under the circumstances."

What a worrywart! I'm sure we can trust the president of the United States! Geez. Some people.