Advice to Students

Note from the LuapHacim, 11/14/2012: The views expressed in this post do not necessarily reflect my current beliefs and convictions. Even if they do, I would almost certainly express them in different words today. Time changes people, and I am not exempt. Nonetheless, because of its historical value, I will not modify or remove this post. It tells you (and me) something important about where I've been. Read on at your own peril.

Thanks for letting me know about your concerns. I'm very sorry to hear about your aunt/grandmother/parakeet/wisdom teeth. Unfortunately, the course policies that you've known about since the beginning of the semester still apply.

Yes, I'm aware that you squandered your free absences earlier this term even though you didn't know that a DISASTER would occur, and I would wager that I am every bit as sad about that as you are. If you had been in class, you might have had some clue about how to write the papers instead of being a lovely millstone pendant that gets disgruntled when its papers don't get A's.

I'm sorry you feel that way about me. If it's any consolation, the feeling is mutual, and I don't get to write nasty, spiteful comments about you at the end of the semester in an effort to reduce your already pitiful merit-based pay raise.

Look on the bright side; at least if you can manage to scrape through college and get that business degree, your starting salary will probably be more than I make in three years at this awful job where I'm supposed to mold you into a competent writer. And I bet it's more rewarding than wrestling with people who are convinced that what you're trying to accomplish is useless, too.

I'm glad we've had this little talk. Please don't hesitate to let me know the next time you totally freak out over something that should never have come as a surprise to you. I'm in this cancer-causing office quite a bit.