1.) We deal with a LOT of old people
2.) Many of these old people, for reasons best known to themselves, found it necessary to purchase an ungodly number of whole life policies. You know, as opposed to purchasing, say, one policy with a higher face amount and probably lower premiums. I tend to blame unethical insurance agents, but maybe that's just me.
3.) We do not have an automated way to quote future policy dividends and other values. This means we have to write these letters manually. Using complex spreadsheets. Until our eyes start bleeding.
4.) Our standard values projection letter is five years out, but we don't have a maximum time frame if the customer requests it (which they, regrettably, do with alarming frequency).
I have, of course, altered certain elements of the below conversation for readability and to protect the not-so-innocent. Happy Saturday!
Luaphacim [8:54 AM]:
why is it always the people with 5 policies that want value projections through 2030?
Cube neighbor [8:54 AM]:
i dont know, but it really is always those people
Luaphacim [8:54 AM]:
srsly
Luaphacim [8:55 AM]:
it's like there is an inverse relationship between number of policies and reasonableness of requests
Cube neighbor [8:56 AM]:
hehe
Luaphacim [9:23 AM]:
I came up with a possible solution
Cube neighbor [9:23 AM]:
LETS HEAR IT
Luaphacim [9:23 AM]:
people who have more than one policy are addicted to life insurance...
Luaphacim [9:23 AM]:
they can't live without it
Luaphacim [9:24 AM]:
they have to have more and more to satiate their desires
Luaphacim [9:24 AM]:
they order endless policy projections to analyze their toys
Cube neighbor [9:24 AM]:
NOT A BAD THOUGHT
Cube neighbor [9:24 AM]:
IT COULD VERY WELL BE TRUE
Luaphacim [9:25 AM]:
they have what state-of-the-art 19th century psychiatrists might call a "mania"
Cube neighbor [9:25 AM]:
THEY ARE LIKE SCROOGE MCDUCK(WHO SWIMS IN HIS MONEY)....THEY GET THESE PROJECTIONS AND THEN MAKE PAPER HATS(OR OTHER CLOTHING ARTICLES) OUT OF THEM
Luaphacim [9:26 AM]:
hehehe *Note: This was audible*
Luaphacim [9:26 AM]:
this guy is going to have a whole wardrobe
Luaphacim [9:26 AM]:
You SO just made me LOL.
Cube neighbor [9:27 AM]:
I heard.
Yeah, that's my life.
3 comments:
I particularly liked your line: I tend to blame unethical insurance agents, but maybe that's just me.
I'm going to plagarize it with some variations like, "I tend to blame overweight middle-age women, but maybe that's just me." or "I tend to blame lazy high school teachers, but maybe that's just me."
Sounds like a great cube neighbor to have. Must he type in all caps though?
anneaunt: tee hee. :-)
eden: yeah, he really is. and the reason we type in caps is because one of our computer systems demands that we do. so sometimes we either don't bother to un-LOCK or forget to.
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