Winter Workout

I had to try the steep entrance twice,

Battling snow-covered ice

With my front-wheel drive Corolla.

Nevertheless, I arrived five minutes early

So I played Hearts with obliging robots

While outside, flurries softened 

The sharp, icy edges of the world

And the full moon's light 

(A light not even its own)

Overwhelmed the harshbright fluorescent bulbs 

Humming patiently above the empty parking lot.

Fifteen minutes later, sweat dripped off the tip of my nose

As I army-crawled my mass across artificial turf,

Feet on plastic sliders and elbows protected by a foam mat.

Thirty minutes after that, my lungs were aflame,

My heartmuscle flexed frantically

As my artificial rower 

Skimmed the surface of a digital pond

And I fought to focus my mind

On maintaining my average watts.

Finally, after one last stretch

Of warm, fibertorn muscles, I stumbled

Once more unto the icy breach,

Pausing in the parking lot

To enjoy the Arctic blast

That had I had hurried through

Only an hour before.

Bodyheat and sweatvapor drifted from me

In visible foggy waves,

Carrying my thermal energy beyond,

Dissipating my warmth

Into the insatiable cold of the wintry morning.

Five more minutes in that wind,

And I would begin to shiver.

Five more hours in it, dressed as I was,

And I would surely die.

But this cold is warm

To most of the universe.

Even in the dead of winter,

Even if I were to freeze solid

In this lovely snow-coated parking lot,

I'd still be a toasty 273 degrees Kelvin.

All the heat in my body -- all the heat 

From all the suns in existence --

Would hardly make a dent

In Absolute Zero.

As I pondered all this, 

A quarter of a million miles off,

The moon continued her task:

Reflecting the radiance 

Of distant nuclear explosions

Onto the pristine snow

That I had to disrupt, defile

To get to my Corolla.

Lenten Sonnet

The days wax long, which, I am told, is why
The ancients called this season Lententide:
When folk of many stations, low and high,
See harbingers of Spring on every side.

The Sun, with never-stinting zeal, now shines
Where Winter lately blew her icy breath;
His rays revive the frigid earth, as wines
Draw men, half-frozen, from the brink of death.

Cold hearts, turn once again toward that Sun
Whose beams enlighten all our cold, dark land,
Whose death and rising satisfied the One
Who lit the firmament with his own hand.

Embracing those least worthy as His own,
He thaws our hearts and warms us to the bone.

Capitol Craze 5k Obstacle Run

This weekend, I ran* in the Capitol Craze 5k Obstacle Run. It was amazingly muddy, wet, and cold. I can't remember having a better time running. If waterslides, mud pits, and ridiculously steep hills in 30-degree weather are your idea of fun, you should have been there.

I loved it.

Here's a picture that does a pretty good job of capturing how it felt. The granola bar was delicious, but a little muddy-tasting.

*By "ran," I mean "jogged as quickly as a fat, out-of-shape IT guy can."