27 September 2008

Work-Related Humorz

In order to appreciate the following IM conversation, you need to know several things about my place of employment:

1.) We deal with a LOT of old people
2.) Many of these old people, for reasons best known to themselves, found it necessary to purchase an ungodly number of whole life policies. You know, as opposed to purchasing, say, one policy with a higher face amount and probably lower premiums. I tend to blame unethical insurance agents, but maybe that's just me.
3.) We do not have an automated way to quote future policy dividends and other values. This means we have to write these letters manually. Using complex spreadsheets. Until our eyes start bleeding.
4.) Our standard values projection letter is five years out, but we don't have a maximum time frame if the customer requests it (which they, regrettably, do with alarming frequency).

I have, of course, altered certain elements of the below conversation for readability and to protect the not-so-innocent. Happy Saturday!

Luaphacim [8:54 AM]:
why is it always the people with 5 policies that want value projections through 2030?


Cube neighbor [8:54 AM]:
i dont know, but it really is always those people


Luaphacim [8:54 AM]:
srsly

Luaphacim [8:55 AM]:
it's like there is an inverse relationship between number of policies and reasonableness of requests


Cube neighbor [8:56 AM]:
hehe


Luaphacim [9:23 AM]:
I came up with a possible solution


Cube neighbor [9:23 AM]:
LETS HEAR IT


Luaphacim [9:23 AM]:
people who have more than one policy are addicted to life insurance...

Luaphacim [9:23 AM]:
they can't live without it

Luaphacim [9:24 AM]:
they have to have more and more to satiate their desires

Luaphacim [9:24 AM]:
they order endless policy projections to analyze their toys


Cube neighbor [9:24 AM]:
NOT A BAD THOUGHT

Cube neighbor [9:24 AM]:
IT COULD VERY WELL BE TRUE


Luaphacim [9:25 AM]:
they have what state-of-the-art 19th century psychiatrists might call a "mania"


Cube neighbor [9:25 AM]:
THEY ARE LIKE SCROOGE MCDUCK(WHO SWIMS IN HIS MONEY)....THEY GET THESE PROJECTIONS AND THEN MAKE PAPER HATS(OR OTHER CLOTHING ARTICLES) OUT OF THEM


Luaphacim [9:26 AM]:
hehehe *Note: This was audible*

Luaphacim [9:26 AM]:
this guy is going to have a whole wardrobe

Luaphacim [9:26 AM]:
You SO just made me LOL.


Cube neighbor [9:27 AM]:
I heard.


Yeah, that's my life.

3 comments:

AnneAunt said...

I particularly liked your line: I tend to blame unethical insurance agents, but maybe that's just me.

I'm going to plagarize it with some variations like, "I tend to blame overweight middle-age women, but maybe that's just me." or "I tend to blame lazy high school teachers, but maybe that's just me."

Eden said...

Sounds like a great cube neighbor to have. Must he type in all caps though?

luaphacim said...

anneaunt: tee hee. :-)

eden: yeah, he really is. and the reason we type in caps is because one of our computer systems demands that we do. so sometimes we either don't bother to un-LOCK or forget to.