11 October 2018

The Great Bug Hunt

Day after futile day,
I chase code across the screen
Until I'm cross-eyed
And my brain doesn't remember, anymore,
What solutions I've tried.

I've tried them all, I think,
And then some. Even StackOverflow,
That great oracle, has run dry.
OK, Google, let's try this one more time
With slightly different terms.

I hope against hope to find some overlooked
Silver bullet, a magical panacea
To banish this mysterious bug
That infects my code.

Perhaps some generous soul has posted the answer
After sharing my travail and triumphing over it --
But alas! I cannot find any.

My search result links are all purple:
Used up, worthless, desiccated husks.
I still re-click them, of course,
Because deep down I think it ridiculous
That this blasted problem hasn't been solved,
And I still hold out hope that I will
Land on precisely the right page,
Scroll to precisely the right line,
And see there, in lovely  black and white,
The blessed answer to my troubles.

(I do not, of course.)

And so at last I return,
Again and again and again,
To the debugger,
Trying to evade insanity
And somehow discover,
Perhaps in a divine epiphany,

The source of all my trouble.

10 October 2018

Terrorism Rerun

The radio says
Terrorists hit a train
As if it is all Quite Shocking Indeed.
Three are dead,
Two were brothers,
And one the authorities haven't yet named.

I cut off the radioman in the middle
Of his frantic lament
And think of Thoreau, who,
when offered a newspaper,
Said "No, thanks -- I've already seen one."

This is like how TBS shows the same movie
Twelve times in two weeks.

I've seen this already
In Paris and Kabul
And Denver and Belfast and Hiroshima
And Baghdad and Constantinople
And Manila and Capetown and Bethlehem.

The ending is unbelievable and unoriginal,
And that actress was much prettier
When she was much younger.

Isn't it strange
How much a person can change
Over time,
And yet how little

People do?