David Blaine's Mommy Did Not Hug Him Enough When He Was a Child

Note from the LuapHacim, 11/14/2012: The views expressed in this post do not necessarily reflect my current beliefs and convictions. Even if they do, I would almost certainly express them in different words today. Time changes people, and I am not exempt. Nonetheless, because of its historical value, I will not modify or remove this post. It tells you (and me) something important about where I've been. Read on at your own peril.

World renowned daredevil/performance artist/attention whore David Blaine is at it again. This time, the wacky man is spending a week underwater in an 8-foot sphere at Lincoln Center. He is literally a goldfish begging for spectators.

But that's not all; according to the AP article,

In a week, he will remove the breathing device and try to hold his breath underwater to surpass a record of 8 minutes, 58 seconds -- longer than a dolphin, he says, but still surpassed by the sperm whale.

In an added display of extreme multitasking, Blaine will try to escape from 150 pounds of chains and handcuffs during the breath-holding finale.

Wonderful. So he's going to try to outdo Navy SEALs, Houdini, and dolphins... all at the same time. Can we say "starved for attention"?

The title of this post is only halfway joking. I think there's a severe lack of early childhood affection in our culture -- hence, the mania for getting people to recognize our worth via reality TV and wacky stunts like this. If more parents spent time with their kids and made them feel loved in a variety of caring ways, I think we'd be a lot more balanced, both as a society and as individual family units.

At the very least, maybe Blaine wouldn't have to "invite visitors to stop by and wave at him" during this bizarre feat.