03 May 2006

Spam Can Be Fun!

So on my last entry (which was hurriedly written and not especially coherent), I got this comment:
Sweety said...
Your commentary style is great i loved it.

I am inviting you to the launch of my website
Please visit & send in your genuine comments.
Your Sweety

Like any gullible consumer, I clicked through. What, you wouldn't? :-) Call me easily amused.

What's there is horrible. Garish pink background, green animated gif, terrible design, annoying google ad bar taking up way too much horizontal space... in short, a nightmare.

The crowning glory is a wondrous poem or manifesto or something, which I copy and paste here for your reading "pleasure":

I believe in God.

I also believe in teamwork.

I am in the business of creating and planting desire

in human minds and I am proud that I take a reward for it.

I must be respected and admired for what

I do today and tomorrow, rather than for what I did yesterday.

I pursue high quality, utmost efficiency

and perfection in everything I do.

I shall remain honest, sincere, simple, humble

and loyal to work, to myself and to all people I interact with.

I admire charity, happiness,

freedom and respect for the individual.

I unceasingly strive for progress, always reminding

myself that any progress is impossible without renewal and change.

I worship at the altar of simplicity,

clarity of thought and power of the idea.

I am passionate about growth and understand that

passion, enthusiasm, skill and detailing in my work fuels it.

I want to be the No.l in all markets I operate

by giving powerful, response-oriented, world-class creative and professional, positive relationship-oriented service to my clients.

I focus on building powerful brands.

And I operate through online marketing


Hehehe. So much I could say here... but I think I really need to let it speak for itself. Let's just say I hope, for "Sweetie's" sake, that this is something that was created yesterday -- because if I were "her," I would not want anyone to give me credit for it. (Apparently, "she" can't take credit for things that have happened in the past, if I read her philosophy right.)

As for the "I believe in God" line... any God that condones consumerism, bad Web design, poorly executed spam, and rambling, unrealistic manifestos is probably not going to be the real one. Just sayin'.

The reason I put quotes around "Sweetie's" name and pronouns is because I'm pretty sure "she" is a 50-year-old homeless man who lives in the hold of a shipwrecked yacht somewhere off the coast of Sri Lanka.

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